“I hate girls that are BORING and AWKWARD. Miss Martinson stated, “I expect all girls to be sociable and party with guys and I don’t accept any excuses.”

 
 
Brian Mark, President of Party Travel Sex Love stated, “Miss Martinson has so much passion. I just love her enthusiasm. In the past the best we could do to get people motivated was to ‘kick ass and take names’, but Miss Martinson has taken motivation of young women to a new level.”

Miss Martinson said, “I will fucking cunt punt the next girl that is not fun or that tries to cock block nice guys who just want to party and get laid!”

Miss Martinson will also be Head Stewardess for the corporate jets. We plan to expand from our current two planes to a small fleet of planes and become the first party airlines.

Our new slogan for the PTSL Airlines is:

Who cares about the Fucking vacation, when you can have Fucking on the Flight!

Miss Martinson is a real ass-et to our company. “I know Miss Martinson has the experience to be Head Stewardess and Social Director for Party Travel Sex Love.” President Brian Mark said, “after reading her inspirational letter to her sorority sisters, I knew I had a position for Miss Martinson, working right under me at Party Travel Sex Love. I have to say Miss Martinson brings back memories of my drunken frat boy days when I too attended the University of Maryland.” She shows such great sorority spirit and a can do attitude! Just check out some of her recent tweets:

Well Rebecca we respect your orgy experience and you are now a part of the PTSL team.

For those of you that missed Miss Martinson’s wonderfully inspirational letter, I’m publishing it in full below.

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I’ve been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Rebecca, I’ve been having so much fun with my sisters this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.

I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON’T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure you don’t go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said “Yeah we’re gonna invite Zeta over”, would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn’t, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN’T be post gaming at other frats, I don’t give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON’T GO. YOU. DON’T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

“But Rebecca!”, you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, “I’ve been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn’t that count for something?” NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN’T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN’T COUNT BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I’ve not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like “durr what’s kickball?” is not fucking funny), but I’ve gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don’t give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it’s time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don’t give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.

“Ohhh Rebecca, I’m now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad”. Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you’re a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT’S EVENT.

I’m not fucking kidding. Don’t go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I’ve mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you’re unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me “Oh nooo boo hoo I can’t talk to boys I’m too sober”, then I pity you because I don’t know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don’t fucking show up unless you’re going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight’s event, I will tell you to leave even if you’re sober. I’m not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don’t give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.

For those of you that can’t read, just watch the video.

Join Party Travel Sex Love in welcoming our new Social Director and Head Stewardess, Rebecca Martinson.

I do a 4 hour work week. When I do work, I work location independent from my laptop. I’m a high paid consultant specializing in freelance bullshitting.

I have a team of FAP programmers working for me, billing my clients $400 per hour which I keep $200 for every hour they FAP.

I own a chain of recording studios that creates an exorbitant amount of passive income.

When I travel to Vegas, I only stay at the Hugh Hefner Sky Villa at The Palms. I have so many babes coming “in and out” that they installed a revolving door and a number dispenser to make it easier for them to get laid.

I wrote a book called How to Shore Poor Working Girls in Go-Go Bars in Third World Counties and Still Get your Flags. It was an instant PUA classic and I’m making a small fortune off the royalties.

 
My dick is so hard I use it to pound nails through two by fours, just for exercise!

I always capture a flag within an hour of landing in a new country.

I once banged 20 girls from 20 different countries in an hour just for fun.
 
 
 
 

I have a couple of small private planes and my own staff of stewardesses that tend to my every need.

I own a small island in an undisclosed location where I meet with heads of state to smoke cigars, drink scotch, and bang babes.

 
 
Here’s short video about my early life.
 

My friends say I’m just a regular guy.

Causual wrote an article Everything Is Amazing Right Now and Nobody’s Happy on Return of Kings website.  He goes on to state:
We are living in the best time right now to be a man:

“No one’s had it better than we do. Not your dad, not your dad’s dad, not some guy living in the mythic Golden Age of masculinity, not King Solomon with his 700 wives. At no other period in the history of our species has the average guy had access to as many beautiful women as we do today, and that’s a fact”.

 
 
I have to disagreed 100% with Casual on this and think his evidence is very short sighted.  The average guys I know are having a ton of trouble getting laid.  My friends are not even average:  they are both young and good looking and still having trouble.  Causal makes four major points and a conclusion to present his thesis.  I will go through each of them and present his argument and then show why I disagree with his findings.

1.      There Are More Beautiful Women Now Than Ever

“One of the things that a lot of bloggers like to complain about is the decline of modern women. Roosh is famous for this, and has even compiled a series of pictures comparing women from the 1960s to women today. And it’s true to an extent, obesity is a big problem in America, and the average woman today is less attractive than the average woman 50 years ago.

However, this is true only for average women. Who cares about average women? Let’s take a look at the hottest women around today compared to a few decades ago:”

Casual shows pictures of 3 celebrities of today and compares them to beauties of the past to make his point. He shows Beyonce Knowles, Angelina Jolee, Scarlette Johansson , He compares them to Lillian Russell from the 1920s, Marilyn Monroe, and Farrah Fawcett. These are hardly the sexiest women of the past. Scarlett Johansson has fake boobs. There were thousands of sexy celebrities that he didn’t mention such as Raquel Welch, Bridgette Bardot, Audrey Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor, Katherine Ross, Jane Russell, Ingrid Bergman, Sophia Loren, Ann Margaret,  and none of these women had fake boobs. His argument doesn’t hold up. The main reason his argument is unimportant is that less than .0001% of men date celebrities. So who cares!

Yes, there are some beautiful women out there for the top .001% of richest and best looking men in America.  The top .01% of women that are wealthy have enough money to get plastic surgery to look great.  Yes, there are more fake boobs, facelifts, Botox, fake noses, braces, tummy tucks today than ever before.  This only helps the top .01% of the women.

I’m only concerned what the average man with game can get and the problem is that we have an obesity epidemic now. Unfortunately today about 50% of the women are over-weight. The average woman weighs 160 pounds. I don’t date women over 120 pounds and most of mine are mine are much smaller. Twenty years ago and earlier, only about 10% of America was overweight. In high school and college I never dated girls with a few extra pounds.

Today most young men’s stable is overweight girls. Today’s men and women won’t even admit these girls are fat so they call them THICK. They are just fat. When I go to social where there are several hundred people about 15% of the men are overweight. Unfortunately 45% of the women at these events are overweight. Any thin girl has her choice of many 6 foot plus 9s and 10s. Men are so desperate that young guys who are 8s will bang 35 – 40 year old fat cougars. I see all the time.

2. It’s Easier To Get Women Into Bed Than Ever

“Not only that, but today it’s easier to have sex with more girls, get sex sooner, and have wilder sex than any time before in human history. Why is this possible? ….
Contraception.
feminism and the sexual revolution

Even if you could travel back in time to the 1960s, you’d find it more difficult to sleep with the women because the culture of casual sex just didn’t exist back then. Can you imagine a girl from the ’60s having sex with a guy she just met without even going on a formal date? Only very recently in our history has such behavior become the norm.

Compared to the past, we are living in the Golden Age…. And at no time in history has it been more culturally acceptable for those women to sleep with you for a one-night stand (a term which was coined in 1963).”

 

Casual says girls are liberated and it is the easiest time to get laid ever. This is totally incorrect. There was a time when America was very liberated when “free love” was commonplace. The “sexual revolution” was not something that just began in the last few years. This period of “free love” was from 1967 to 1985. This corresponds to period of time from the “Summer of Love” in 1967 to 1985, a time when AIDS and Herpes did not exist. Does he really think hippies didn’t have One Night Stands (ONS)? They didn’t call sexual liaisons “free love” for nothing. Lots of wife swapping, SNL (single night lays), everyone was shagging everyone. Unfortunately in 1985 AIDS exploded onto the scene and scared everyone sexless. During the 1990s, Third Wave Feminism, women were brainwashed to believe that men were responsible for their perceived injustices, ushered in a more conservative time too. The hookup culture of the 2000s gradually arrived as AIDS fighting drugs came into existence and AIDS was no longer a quick death sentence of the previous decade.

From everything I know from all my friends in their 20s and up, they are having a pretty hard time getting laid even by thick girls. I don’t do them, so I have no clue if they are easy. I cut my teeth on slender pretty girls and don’t plan on wasting my time on fat and ugly girls, which appears to be the mainstay of most younger guys’ limited sex lives. Many younger guys don’t seem to mind thick girls because that is all they’ve ever known.

3. We Have Knowledge Of The Game

Thanks to the internet and the PUA culture it spawned, guys now have access to routines and techniques that have been empirically tested thousands of times. Combined with our growing understanding of human psychology and biology, the average guy now has access to more information about how to get laid than any guy in history.

The explosion of PUA and Game is a symptom of the problem that it is much harder to get laid today than it was 25 years ago. There was always a few writers of Pick Up books, like Eric Weber and his book “How to Pick Up Girls”, but there were only a few guys releasing this material, because it wasn’t needed because guys could easily get laid in later 1960s until 1985. Sorry to burst your bubble, we are not living in the most promiscuous time in world history.

It no coincidence, that as getting laid became more difficult to accomplish in the late 1990s and even more difficult after 2000 and that is when you get an explosion of the PUA movement. Ross Jeffries, David DeAngelo, Mystery, Neil Strauss and others come onto the scene and provide an endless supply of products over-sexed and under-utilized men. They just stepped in to fill the void, a need that wasn’t there 20 years earlier. Now there are hundreds of PUA gurus available to teach you how you can pick up girls. Most of them do nothing more than teach you how to do a number close.

In the last 25 years the masculinity of the average male has declined. Most males starting college are already feminized. Universities now teach a deconstructionist kind of thinking where Western man is responsible for the problems of the world. Males become super beta and are more feminized than ever. Where 25 years ago 5% of the men on campus were players, today no more than 1% of the men are players. Really, Western men have no Game. All these PUA products are needed just to get Western males back to where they were 25 years ago.

Even if the average male bought all the PUA products and practiced them, he still could not be as successful as a guy prior to 1985. Girls were just more DTF then. You’re saying this couldn’t be true, because girls are liberated now. Sluts fuck guys every night. Yes, a few girls are servicing a lot of guys. Like 10% of the girls are doing 90% of the guys.

You’re probably thinking that I can get laid because I’m older. I do get laid, but I’m not basing this article just on my own experiences. I have many friends in their 20s that are having a hard time getting laid. They have to fuck thick girls and girls much older than themselves. These are two things I never had to do when I was young and never will.

A good analogy about the growth of PUA is just like the growth of compact economy cars. For most of the 20th century gasoline was very cheap and cars all had V-8 engines. People wanted fast cars because they wanted to drive fast and have fun. Fast cars drank a lot of gas but gas was cheap, so nobody cared. When the first Middle East oil crisis hit, things changed overnight and oil prices skyrocketed and gasoline became much harder to buy and much more expensive. In a matter of a few years the price doubled and tripled. In 1974 you had the first 4 cylinder cars: the Chevy Vega and Ford Pinto. They weren’t fast like the muscle cars of the past and they weren’t fun to drive, but they got 42 miles per gallon. A muscle car could bring you a lot of excitement but it may have gotten only 12 mpg. Necessity was the mother of invention. This is exactly how PUA was invented. Necessity with the help of the internet made the products sell more quickly. Think about it, who would buy an expensive tape or video series if they could get laid without it. The fact we have so many products and so many guys teaching is not a good sign. It’s a bad sign. Do you actually believe men enjoy buying these products, attending expensive boot camps, and still they cannot get laid? The sad truth is many of the PUA products are almost useless and contain little that will help the average guy. They tend to be motivational but are not going to change a guy into some pussy magnet.

The cruel truth is that even with all the hundreds of products and gurus, the average guy gets laid less today than he did 25 years ago. Don’t tell me so what, the top 1% of the guys is getting tons of ass. They may be, but these guys have always gotten ass even in bad times too. The top 1% of the guys is not reading this blog, because they have no interest in improving their Game. Even movie stars like Hugh Grant and Sean Penn have had problems getting ONS from women.

4. Conclusion (easier to get flags)

I’m just an average guy, but since I discovered the game I’ve slept with over a dozen women, including white girls, Mexican girls, Chinese girls, Japanese girls, Koreans, Indians, a Salvadorean… at what point in history could an average guy like me have the opportunity to sleep with such a cornucopia of women?

I agree with this part of Casual’s logic, that it is easier to capture more flags now than ever before in the USA. Twenty five year ago the heartland of the USA was very homogenous country. The country was mostly whites, some blacks in certain states and cities, Latinos in a few states, and almost no Asians or other ethnic groups were in the rural USA. You could easily get a USA Caucasian flag, but had little chance of getting anything else. Also there was not much dating across ethnic groups then. Unless you lived in a large city with a large ethic community, you couldn’t capture any different flags. Today, for an American it is easier to capture more flags than in the past.

My conclusion is that we are not living in some sexual nirvana. Today there are less good looking women; women are less sexual; and PUA is not a solution but symptom of the problem.

Epilogue: Dr. Ratterporn’s comments.

This writer, like many in the PUA world, takes a very short and distorted view of history and he is probably more than a little delusional. Setting aside the obvious people like the very rich, celebrities, pro athletes, and high paid professionals–doctors, investment bankers, PUA gurus. Life is not better for most men at this current time and it may be the worst it’s been since the 1950′s for getting laid.

I think in all periods there have been naturals who was getting laid. Ben Franklin was well-known as a ladies man. His adventures with women in France are well-documented. America has gone through many periods and upheavals and social changes. It has gone from a largely agricultural, isolationist nation in the 19th Century to a world superpower and empire in the 20th. Interestingly, it was also common during the 1800′s for a fairly successful man to take a much younger wife. There was not nearly the social stigma attached to this that there is today because such an arrangement made sense given the state of the nation. There have been other periods when picking up women was not that hard–the “roaring twenties” (1920′s) is one example and the mid to late 1940′s when men were returning from the war. There was also a lot of fucking around amongst the left behind war brides.

I do agree there is probably a wider selection of beautiful women than there was, say, in 1830–one of the obvious reasons for this is that the waves of immigration from many countries had not yet begun such as would come in the 1880′s and after due to increased industrialization and need for foreign workers. There have always been beautiful women, though, and the author overlooks a great number of beautiful actresses of the 1940′s, in trying to make his case. I agree that 3rd wave feminism has drastically reduced number of lays a guy can get compared to the mid-sixties to 1985 and widespread HIV after that time. I also think this view that things in general are getting better is a highly personalized view. Louis CK is now a rich and famous comic who has complete directorial authority over his own FX show. He now has a damn good life but he spent years slogging away to achieve fame and for every Louis there are a thousand comedians who labor unknown in comedy clubs in the sticks and will always be unknown. If you’ve made it and are making millions of dollars per year with complete control over your own TV show then your attitude is probably going to be a lot more positive than a writer like Mark SaFranko who slaved for 30 years before getting a book published, or a guy who’s written many books that have never been published.

Large groups of immigrants and ethnic enclaves have always existed in the larger cities of the USA. LA had Japan town and Korean and Thai immigrant communities 25 years ago and Miami had a large Cuban and Haitian population and NY was always an ethnic quilt and Chicago had Chinatown and large Puerto Rican community and many Eastern European immigrants. San Francisco also had Japan town and China town and many immigrant communities and California has a huge Italian immigrant community and Armenians. Only more recently did immigrants became much more common in small towns and in cities like Atlanta which previously had been either totally Caucasian or black and white.

Around the World in 80 Girls: the Hollywood Script – Part Part 1

Part 2 begins:

The Uncle Roosh vision ends. Schlongwalker grabs his backpack and throws in his most precious possessions: bongs, condoms, and lube. An angry mob of local pimps carrying flaming torches descends on his native hut to kill him. They light the hut on fire and then watch it burn.

“Thank God we’re getting rid of that cheap bastard. We should a done that a long time ago!” growled the leader of the pimps.

“Yeaaaaah!” shouted the other pimps in unison.

While his native hut is burning up around him, Schlongwalker threw his pack out the back window and followed out head first into wet area behind the house where the toilet dumps into a rice paddy. Filthy and stinky, he jumped into the back of a chicken truck leaving town going to a slaughter house.

As the truck drives away, Schlongwalker watched his house go up in flames, while it continued to get smaller in the distance.

“I know my mission, I have to travel around the world and capture as many flags and notches as possible that’s my new life. That’s what real men do!” he repeated over and over again.

Thus, begins the second stage of Schlongwalker’s life where he travels the world as a wandering rogue, impaling sweet innocent girls on his long sabre wherever he goes. He gets quite a reputation and is run out of the Southeast Asia for fucking too many sweet innocent virginal girls. While in the Philippines there is an assassination attempt by an infuriated father. His life has gotten so crazy that he receives daily death threats from women, hostile family members, gangsters, and even the police.

Schlongwalker realizes the danger of Southeast Asia is closing in on him. Using a fake passport, he hops a plane to South America so he can continue capturing more flags as he travels throughout the continent. Schlongwalker’s exploits quickly get him a reputation in South America too. The police in Brazil release a wanted poster of him, because he is deflowering so many sweet innocent Brazilian virgins: “Wanted for Fornication, Man with No Name”.

Schlongwalker is fearless because he is possessed by the “Word of Roosh”. He looks in his pocket and finds his business cards with the picture of his lost love “what’s her name”, the “girl with the crooked vagina and that golden G-spot” which he still can’t forget, but it seems like a lifetime ago. Now, the problem is that he is addicted to flagging and notching and can’t quit. He debates in his head whether flagging and notching should be made illegal. He then comes back to his senses and realizes that the government should not meddle in addicts lives. If they want to fuck themselves to death, it’s their business and not the government’s.

One night while staying in a hostel in Columbia he meets a beautiful Argentinean girl who is a 10. She thinks Dick is very sexy so comes into his private room and begins to flirt with him. While the door is open, he sees his target: a fat Columbian 4 in the break room that he needs to bang to capture his Columbian flag. The Argentinian beauty begins to hug on Schlongwalker, but he pushes her away.

“I don’t care if you’re a 10,” Schlongwalker tells the Argentinian, “I’ve already got my flag from a 4 in Argentina, so I don’t want to fuck you, so get hell out!”

“I can’t help it if I have 36 D breasts and I’m beautiful.” The Argentinean begins to cry. “Can’t you at least fuck me because I’m a good person?”

“Dammit, beautiful bitch,” Schlongwalker continues, “I’m a flagger and I’ve accepted the Word of Roosh! Can’t you get that through you dumb skull? Get the hell out.”

She next unbuttons her shirt and pulls down her bra and presses her 36 D breasts right up against his lips and tries to get him to motorboat her.

“You can fuck me right here in the room. You don’t even have to be seen with me in public. She continues to cry and plead with him. “I won’t embarrass you.”

“Get out bitch, I already told you, I don’t need an Argentinian flag,” Schlongwalker says in his most stern voice.

Now she feels totally rejected and then kicks his notebook computer off the bed and it breaks. He’s furious and pushes her out the door, just in time to see the fat Colombian chick walking out the hostel with a short fat balding old Saudi man. He is furious at the Argentinian 10 that had the gall to fuck with his Game. Several days later, after his anger wears off, he realizes, he is without his computer, and there would be no way to track his flags and notches; he begins to fall into a deep depression.

“There is no reason to capture flags or get notches, if I can’t blog to all the guys in the Manosphere,” Schlongwalker mumbles out loud.

His depression continues until he hits an all-time low. He next does the PUA flagger unthinkable: spending his last pesos to fuck a Columbian whore who had giant double D breasts and was a 10!

“I don’t care that she was a 10 with giant tits.” Schlongwalker admitted, “I didn’t enjoy it at all, because I had to pay, and I couldn’t capture my Columbian flag! I’m a fucking loser! ” “I’m a loser, I’m a failure, I had to pay for pussy!” he repeats over and over again until he passes out.

Then before him appears a vision of Uncle Roosh and he’s talking to him.

“Uncle Roosh what can I do?……I’m not like you. How did you get so strong?” Schlongwalker asks.

“I’m from Washington DC, and it the toughest place in the world to Game chicks.” Uncle Roosh replied. “If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere, DC, DC.”

The vision ends and Uncle Roosh disappears. Schlongwalker immediately wakes up.

“I have to get to get to DC, Washington, DC and talk to Uncle Roosh. I need to find out: is there anything after flagging and notching or is that just the end. Only he can help me to find my path to true enlightenment.”

No one knows what happened to Schlongwalker next, because with no computer to blog his flagging and notching exploits to the world , he “fell off the map” you could say. Thus after making it through all of South America and having nothing to show for it, since he lost his last worldly possession, Schlongwalker sank into a severe depression. This would be the end of the story for most mortal men — but not Schlongwalker. Somehow our tragic hero enters the USA a broken man… a sinner… who had strayed from the Word of Roosh. He now bumbles his way around the USA, unable to get it up anymore, a used up ex-sex addict. He finally makes his way to Washington DC. He searches for Uncle Roosh all over the city, but he is nowhere to be found. Nobody can help him. He finally ends up in a homeless shelter in Washington, DC, just a few hundred yards away from the White House. By this time, he was destined for nothing. He was the man with no memory, he had forgotten the Word of Roosh, and he had no goals except to drink cheap liquor and bum a few joints. Well you would think this was the end of this washed up druggie and ex-sex addict, but it wasn’t.

In the meantime his Russian girlfriend with the crooked vagina and golden G-spot never gave up hope of finding Schlongwalker. By some miracle of the God and the Russian Orthodox Church, she saw a wanted poster of Schlongwalker the man who had impaled and impregnated many young virgins all over South American. She didn’t care, because she still loved him.

Julia next sends his picture to CNN and tells them her story. Like a miracle she is invited to be on Oprah’s new night time talk show which is filmed in Washington DC. To her amazement, America gets behind this sweet girl with her tragic love story. While on the TV show, someone calls in and says that they were in a homeless shelter in Washington, DC and saw a man that looked like the man on the Schlongwalker wanted poster. The caller said that man in the shelter had no memory.

Julia broke down in tears.

“That’s why, Dick didn’t contract me. He didn’t have any memory. I felt his love for me was true even while we were apart. I thought about him every day and I know he was always thinking about me too. That’s why I never gave up hope,” Julia tells Oprah, while wiping away her tears.

The audience claps with approval.

Then Julia stands up and removes her microphone and immediately runs out of the studio barefoot leaving her shoes behind even though it’s night time, the dead of winter, and there is snow on the ground. The audience gasps, but doesn’t stop her. They next all clap in unison. Then the show cuts to a commercial, leaving everyone with a warm feeling.

After running all night from homeless shelter to homeless shelter she has just about given up and thinks it may just be a cruel joke. She hears that there is just one more homeless shelter in Washington DC where the most destitute people stay. It is her last hope.

She goes into this rat-infested homeless shelter barefoot with her feet blue from frostbite and bleeding. At first she doesn’t see him. She shows everyone his picture on the wanted poster. Eventually a bum points over to a man sitting on the cold floor with knees drawn up against his chest and his face buried in his crossed arms over his knees. All she can see is his dirty shaggy blond hair.

She hurries over there to the man and pulls his head up by his dirty, ratty hair. To her amazement, it’s her long lost love Dick Schlongwalker, but he looks horrible, a broken man. He looks at her with a blank stoned stare.

“Dick, it’s me Julia, don’t you remember me?” She begins crying.

“Uncle Roosh is that you?” Schlongwalker replies.

“No, it’s me Julia, don’t you recognize me?”

Schlongwaker says nothing , he just looks at her with that glazed-eyed stoned stare. Julie is now terribly upset, because she loves Dick so much and he doesn’t even recognize her. So then she does the unthinkable, she takes her shirt sleeve and wipes the dried puke from his lips and then gives him a long deep kiss! While kissing him, Scholongwalker’s eyes open wide.

Julia pulls away from him and looks into his eyes and asks, “Do you remember me now?”

Schlongwalker coughs up a wad of snot and vomit and spits it on the floor and says, “Yeah, yeah, you’re the girl, cough, cough, the girl with the crooked vagina and golden G-spot.”

Julia begins crying and says, “yes! You haven’t forgotten my vagina and G-spot.”

She is elated and helps him to his feet. She puts her arm around his waist. They walk out of the homeless shelter, arm and arm as the morning sun is rising over the horizon. They can see the Washington Monument and the Capitol Building off in the distance as they are bathed in the warmth of the sun’s rejuvenating rays.

The End.

To Be Continued – Epilogue

When Neil Skywalker said he was writing a movie script from his book “Around the World in 80 Girls”, I was very excited because I think the book a fabulous story.  It’s one of my all time favorite travel books.   So I decided to write a satire of his book in the form of a  Hollywood script.   Please note:  It is meant to be funny!   I hope you enjoy it.

I sent a copy of Neil’s book out to Hollywood to my close personal friend and Hollywood insider that only I know. Rumor has it that he has Mafia connections. He grew up in a rough ethnic neighborhood back east that I can’t reveal. My friend is a tough talking guy like Humphrey Bogart, who always has a cigar in his hand, and never takes any shit from anyone. Here’s what he told me, his close personal friend.

“Now Brian, listen here, nobody wants to read a book about a man from the Netherlands. Hell, Americans don’t even know where that place is. The main character has to be an American.”

“Oh, OK.” I said.

“Next problem: nobody will believe a movie about an American that would want to travel all around the world on a budget and see important historic sites and beautiful scenery. Americans just don’t do that. Not when he could just stay right here at home, in the greatest country in world where he has everything. Yeah, and what he doesn’t have he could buy with his credit cards.”

“Oh, I never thought of that” I said.

“Thirdly, nobody would believe a guy would want to have sex with 80 strange women.” The insider continued. “Normal men just don’t do that; they get married to fat domineering women and move to the suburbs right here in the USA. The whole premise of this story is just too……too unbelievable, nobody will buy it!”

When I heard this, I felt like I had just swallowed a giant ball bearing.

“What can I do?” I replied, “I can’t tell Neil. It’s the story of his life. He will be heart-broken”

“If you want to get it sold, you will have to make major changes. If you want to have a lot of sex it can’t be a serious movie. It needs to be a comedy.” the secret insider and close personal friend said.

“Like, “The Hangover?” I said.

“Yes, that’s acceptable.” The insider continued, “Also it has to appeal to the ladies so it needs to be a romantic comedy, a love story with a real nice guy character.”

“Something like “50 First Dates.”

“Yeah, like that.” The Hollywood insider continued, “Also, if the guy is going to try to do stupid shit like travel around the world and engage in indiscriminate sex, he needs to be taught a lesson.”

“Like Greek tragedy, where he suffers great hardships before he finds his way back home?” I replied.

“Yeah, now we’re on the same page,” replied the Hollywood insider who will remain anonymous.

So with these suggestions from my close personal friend who is a Hollywood insider, I set out to do the impossible: to make a Hollywood friendly script from Neil’s book.

Here is what I came up with:

http://shine.yahoo.com/beauty/teen-girl-petitions-seventeen-magazine-stop-airbrushing-models-130000558.html

Julia Bluhm, 14, is an eighth grader from rural Waterville, Maine. She loves ballet and attends class six days a week. She is also gaining national attention as an activist who is challenging the media to take responsibility for the way it warps girls’ self-esteem.

Julia Bluhm started blogging about girls and self-esteem a year ago when she joined SPARK, a non-profit organization for 13 to 22 year-olds that calls itself a “girl-fueled activist movement to demand an end to the sexualization of women and girls in media” One of SPARKS’ recent accomplishments was to get a meeting to with top LEGO executives to discuss, among other issues, the LEGO Friends line of toys which they say are demeaning to girls. However, the petition is, as Bluhm puts it, “my first big action.

Her petition on change.org reads:
“To girls today, the word ‘pretty’ means skinny and blemish-free. Why is that, when so few girls actually fit into such a narrow category? It’s because the media tells us that ‘pretty’ girls are impossibly thin with perfect skin.”

Bluhm and other women are fighting against “Seventeen magazine” and other media for air-brushing photos and showing girls as fine specimens of feminine pulchritude. They believe magazines should be required to show overweight teens with pimply skin, so teens won’t feel inadequate. Bad skin and being overweight typically comes from lack of exercise, poor diet, and bad personal hygiene. Should we strive for a race to the bottom for our teens and our country? Julia Bluhm seems to think so!

As the article says, she practices ballet six days a week. In keeping with her agenda, I suggest that television ballet shows give equal time to both professional ballerinas and girls that have been ballet students for two months or less, or those who are deemed by their teachers to be exceptionally bad despite years of practice. This way, ballet will not have to be esteemed for the grace, talent and painstaking practice it requires and fledgling ballerinas, regardless of talent, can be praised for their efforts. It might be a good idea as well to create a TV show called “American Mediocrity” as a self-esteem building tool for kids forced to watch shows like “American Idol” and “America’s Got Talent.” The show could feature obese and untalented children competing to see who could give the worst performances and all participants would “win” for the effort put out. This would send a powerful message that it is okay to be untalented and mediocre and below average. Perhaps LEGO would agree to be the show’s sponsor?

Let’s not stop here. ESPN should be required to show some of the worst tennis players they can find because we don’t want inferior tennis players to feel bad about their lack of ability. What the hell–Tiger Woods should have to share airtime with some young kids that just got a set of golf clubs for Christmas. Forget professional sports–each night ESPN should pick a high school at random and feature one of their sports teams!

Let’s not stop here. I want to see Hooters hire guys wearing short shorts because it is discriminating against men to hire only sexy women to wear them. I want to see lots of men’s calendars, but only calendars of ugly men because I don’t want men to feel bad about themselves!

I want to see fat girl beauty pageants. They won’t be called beauty pageants, they’ll be called “Thick girl” pageants. I suggest we also host “Most Average Girl” and “Ugly girl” pageants, too. I don’t want anyone to be left out.

Please, let’s not forget education! Let’s dumb down education to where everyone can pass. We should drop honors courses because they will make kids feel inadequate if they do not do well-enough to get into them. Following Bluhm’s program, perhaps we can abolish Harvard University, our snootiest of schools, and rename it “Cambridge University of Mediocrity” and accept any student there that applies. We wouldn’t want any kid to excel so let’s lower the standards for everyone for education, beauty, physical fitness, sports, science, everything. We don’t want any exceptional people, only average people. We want to strive for average people that will make for an average country. Exceptional students could be identified early and instead of being placed in elitist “gifted” programs they could be funneled to the worst schools and severely reprimanded for showing any initiative or creativity.

Julia Bluhm and her parents should start a magazine for overweight, pimply-faced girls with average intelligence. If this is what girls want to read and see, the magazine will be a tremendous success and they will become millionaires. They can give the profits from the magazine to average people of America to help sustain American mediocrity. Equal rights for everyone! Help keep America average!

One thing that is obvious from the Miss Universe Pageant is that the top .001% of girls in any country are great looking. This knowledge will do 99% of the males little good. What can you learn from the Miss Universe Pageant? The attitudes of the contestants reflect their respective countries. Here is the lesson I leaned from the 2012 Miss Universe Pageant.

Listen to the answers of two of the Top 5 Finalist. They are very enlightening and give you an idea of how women in their respective countries think.

 
These two questions are basically the same question asked in a different way. The answers are almost the polar opposite.

First, Miss Australia said she would not lose weight even if her modeling contract required it. I find this a very stupid and arrogant answer. I do things every day for my job that I don’t enjoy, because that is what is required for me to do to get paid. Her answer is out of touch and shows the typical entitled Australian or Anglo woman’s attitude. “I’m an independent women, take me or leave me. I don’t care if I’m too heavy. I won’t lose weight for a job or change for anybody. I’m independent and tough!”

Miss Brazil’s answer was exactly the opposite. She felt that wearing a bikini was no different than wearing an evening gown. She did not feel that the bikini made her a sex object or any less of a women. She is proud of her sexy side and confident of who she is inside. Miss Brazil is the whole package that embraces her sexuality.

These two brief answers say everything about the attitudes of the women or their respective countries. I know where I’d like to travel to date women. I have little interest in going to Australia a country of entitled asexual women. In addition, most Australian women are big and most are not good looking. I plan to spend my time in Brazil a country whose women are feminine and embrace their sexuality.

Incredible India: the Good. Like the picture at the right shows there are many yoga chicks, hippie chicks, and spiritual chicks all trying to find themselves in India. Your job is to find them and help them find themselves. The historic sites and temples in India are second to none.

 
 

 
 
 
Jodhpur

 
 
 
 
 
 
Lucky dude having a foursome while two babes wait their turn
at the
Khajuraho erotic temples

 
 
 
 
 
 

Varanasi at dusk


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

British Architecture in Mumbai


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Beach at
Ashvam, Goa



Partying at Tito’s Bar in Baga Beach, Goa

India is a country of extremes: the bad and the good and a lot in between. By the time I was half way through India, I had been scammed a dozen times, was sick for 10 days and couldn’t eat for 5 days, and swore I’d never come back. By the time my trip to India was over, I hated to leave and wanted to stay longer. Ever since leaving India, I’ve been dying to get back. There are many sights I never had time to visit and adventures I didn’t get to experience.

Jaipur: by Night

 
 
 
Agra: Garbage Disposals in Action

Allahbad: this is where 30 people were recently crushed to death at the largest religious gathering in the world.

 
 
 
 
 
 
Aurangabad: While you pee you can look at shit stains up to eye level and learn about a new career in Computers where you’ll meet Sexy Girls.
Hold your nose because of the stench!
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
Goa: Sacred Animal Feeding Station in front of our hotel.
The sign says No Dumping!
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
Kingfisher Beer – looks like Piss and taste like it too!
Maybe the worse beer in the world. 90% of the places you go in India, Kingfisher is the only beer sold.
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
Sausagefest in Indian bars
All dudes and no babes: great for bromance!

Lisbeth Salander, in case you don’t know, is the girl with the dragon tattoo, made famous by the three Stieg Larsson books and three movies: Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Girl that Played with Fire, and Girl that Kicked the Hornet’s Nest.

 
 
 

Lisbeth is a gothic looking bitch that could be pretty, but is not because she constantly fucks up her looks with her horrible gothic clothing and makeup. She has several unsightly tattoos, spikes her hair in a Mohawk, and wears a nose ring and has many other piercings. She has no tits so comes across as an androgynous dyke. She is the new liberated women: a bisexual bitch that prefers women but will have sex with a guy if it suits her fancy. She is cold as ice, answers questions only when she wants to, and shows no emotions. She also hates men and kills men in all three movies. Of course, she kills only in self-defense. The movies portray most men as scoundrels that try to abuse Lisbeth. She is a dyke James Bond: ice cold, no personality, either bisexual or maybe just dyke bitch that can outsmart any man. She kicks the ass of any man that tries to take advantage of her! She’s invincible. This is the ideal for the new Western woman. This is what Western men have to look forward to in the future: a world of Lisbeth Salander clones.

Noomi Rapace – Rooney Mara

Before I say too much about Lisbeth, I need to say she is from Sweden, one of the most liberated countries in the world. In the 1960s, the sexual revolution actually began in Scandinavia when women became liberated with the invention of the pill, allowing Scandinavian women to engage in sexual pleasure as much as their male brethren. Unfortunately Scandinavia let the genie out of the bottle first and things never were the same. Women’s liberation transmogrified into feminism and the war on men began. Men were no longer needed for marriage and women stayed promiscuous and had sex with who they wanted. At one time Sweden was noted for their blond beauties, but by the time these three movies were released forty-five years after the 1960s, Swedish women are not pretty, but are plain and ugly like most other Western women.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo has been remade into yet an updated Hollywood version. The original Swedish movies Lisbeth Salander was played by Noomi Rapace who had some sex appeal, but Hollywood chose Rooney Mara who looks dog assed ugly in this movie. If that wasn’t bad enough, to reinforce feminist power themes, the lead male character is played by Daniel Craig, the actor that plays James Bond. James Bond needs Lisbeth Salander’s super human skills of deduction so he can solve a crime. Craig’s character is infatuated with Lisbeth and longs to bed her. James Bond has gone from being the ultimate alpha male to an ass-kissing beta…..What will be next? Elizabeth Salander Agent 006!